Sometimes, there really are no friends to count on.

There's this need to vent, to release all the pain there is. But it's hard when you don't have good friends to vent to. When it feels like all your friends have deserted you and are never really interested anyway.

How do people manage to find such great cliques, with whom they can talk about anything with, share all experiences with and just share their lives with? Without judgement, without hurtful words, without any unjust feelings. How do people who are so interesting and smart find good friends in others who may not be so? I admire people like this, who can accept others as they are, who can see their strong traits beneath all the surface flaws. I wish I could be more accepting of my friends, wish I didn't keep finding fault in them, when I myself am so far from perfection.

I ask myself all the time, why I do not have a close clique of friends whom I can see every weekend, whom I can club with, whom I can just hang out with and vent to as and when life hits its low points? Just as in the ideal F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I wish I had a clique like that, who would carry me through life, who will make me laugh, who each has their own familiar quirks which I can always rely on.

I guess I have to accept that life isn't as ideal as television portrays. And I guess the answer to myself is to just start accepting people as they are, instead of harbouring hate in my heart over characteristics of others whom I can never change. There's always something to learn from other people I meet. Already at work I've met a few guys whom I feel I can learn a thing or two from. They're funny and interesting, but they don't judge others who are not. That's fantastic, really.

Came so close to calling the Befrienders hotline, but decided to volunteer instead. Gosh, doesn't it scare you that there are depressed people like myself volunteering to help suicidal folks?!

Oh well, let's see how it goes.